Let’s Talk About Dating…

After a lengthy discussion with my good friend Dan I found myself asking, since when were there so many rules when it comes to dating?

Don’t text them first, never message twice in a row and NEVER text back immediately. Or that’s what your meant to do, apparently.

Dating can be difficult, especially in your 20s. Half your friends are coupled up, moving in together or getting married whilst the other half is trying to figure out the dating scene and wondering if that person will ever text back.

When did it all become so complicated? Why can’t we just keep it simple and go with the flow.

I recently adopted this mantra when it comes to my own dating life. If I like them, text them. I want to hang out with them, ask when they are free. The worst that might happen is they say they are busy so you can rearrange or they say they don’t want to hang out. Least you know then where you stand and can move on to try and figure it all out with someone else.

The fact we always have constant contact with someone we don’t necessarily know, does it mean the grass has become even greener on the other side than it always was?

I say let’s get rid of the complications of it all. It’s time to go back old school, there’s a reason you’ve never seen a decent romantic film based after 2012. After that social media went from a nice thing to have to something we’ve decided we can’t live without. Think about it: Love actually, we were still on flip phones; The notebook; they died in like 2005; You got mail, first internet dating film ever… but even then they only had dial up.

So go for it. Message them first, double text them, ask them out first, text them back almost immediately. I mean heaven forbid you show you’re slightly interested in them or, worse, you care.

It’s time to ditch social media for love and start actually talking again. Plus, if you put yourself out there who knows what will happen? You might even find your Prince Charming.

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5 Comments

  1. 23rd February 2017 / 8:25 AM

    I love this! As someone who is happily in a relationship I see my friends going through this all the time and don’t see why there needs to be so much drama <3

    Gisforgingers xx

  2. 23rd February 2017 / 12:38 PM

    God girl, you are such a breath of fresh air. Too bad you’re too young for me ;)

    I have really grown to hate dating. So I don’t date anymore. I sometimes just do fun stuff with someone. Get rid of all the expectations and pressure and just go with the flow instead. Sure makes life a lot easier!

  3. Louise
    19th March 2017 / 9:07 AM

    I met my fiancée online. I was 32. I had been in 3 relationships 17-18, 19-22, 22-28. When I split from my ex I was at the age where everyone was getting married or at least engaged. I had moved out to go to uni at 18 and had to move back in with my mum after 10 yrs of not being there. She had sold her house and was renting

    . I dated a bit. Dated 3 guys at once at one point. Called one by the wrong name once on a trip to the park. Realised that after 11 years of serial monogamy I was rubbish at dating. Went on a self imposed single life journey. Ended up living with a couple (my female flatmate basically moved her boyfriend in. That wasn’t great and I then lived on my own which WAS great.

    I saw a 21 yr old on and off for a yr when I was 31. He was very hot and I really enjoyed sowing the last of my wild oats. He was the equivalent of my skinny blonde and spots car for a man having a mid life crisis. I was not having a midlife crisis though.

    I was having fun.

    Friends thought I was mad. Others said with a sympathetic tone ‘you’ll find a nice guy’.

    They couldn’t grasp that I didn’t WANT a man. I mean, every woman in her 30s is desperately seeking a man to validate her existence right?

    Well after the 21yr old was too ’21’ I thought, maybe I’m now ready to consider a real relationship again. After 3 and a half years of self imposed singledom. My friend talked me into going online. I was beyond cynical. ‘Its’s romance by numbers’ i wailed. I agreed to try it. I paid £100 for 6 months, wrote a fairly blunt and some may say, slightly obnoxious profile – ‘shy guys need not apply’ I said.

    Well after 6 weeks – a shy guy did apply. We met up quickly- I didn’t want a pen pal I said.

    6 weeks after meeting we were a couple. 6 months later we were engaged – and I was pregnant. Our daughter is now 4 months.

    It’s been real. Largely because we didn’t faff around. So I agree, text them. If they don’t text back who cares? Your soul mate will text you back. They are out there. Even in a cynical, romance is dead, social media obsessed dystopia.

    Keep the faith x

    • Judith
      Author
      26th March 2017 / 8:15 PM

      Love, love, love this! I promise to keep the faith! So glad you found your soulmate! x

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